Thursday, July 17, 2008

UK leaders to holiday in Britain

An amusing but expletive filled take on the recent news that Britain's leading politicians will be holidaying in the UK this year. You will have to click the link to read the swear words. This blog in no way condones the language used in this article.

Does this mean the green lobby is having an effect?


GORDON Brown and David Cameron both considered resigning from their posts after being forced to spend another summer holiday in Britain, it was claimed last night.

Both party leaders are understood to be furious at the prospect of two weeks in a dreary seaside hell-hole thanks to the economic slowdown and '******* environmentalists'.

Sources say the prime minister asked senior advisers where in his contract it said he had to go to Suffolk, while Mr Cameron had to be talked out of an angry rejection of his hard-won green credentials.

Mr Brown is understood to have told colleagues: "I earn 190 grand a year. I could go to that place in Mauritius where the hotel rooms are little huts perched above the water. First ****** class. But because that arsehole Darling has ***** my economy I have to go to Southwold.

"And the ******* tree huggers would do a **** if I got on a plane, despite the fact I'll be emitting 400 tonnes of carbon just keeping my seaside cottage warm in the middle of ******* JULY!"

While some political observers say two weeks on the windswept Suffolk coast fits well with the prime minister's brooding character, his friends say he's not that miserable.

Meanwhile a source close to Mr Cameron said: "Would he rather be next to a pool at a sprawling, tastefully renovated farmhouse in Gascony, where it is currently 88 degrees? Of course I ******* would.

"But because 'everyone is so poor', I - he - has to pretend to care by dragging his **** down to some rain sodden toilet in Cornwall and pretend he's enjoying the fish and chips while all the 'poor people' **** off to Majorca for a fortnight.

"And global warming's a lot of ****. I ******* hate this job."

While are are here this article on rising sea levels also has the capacity to induce a faint smile and perhaps even a chuckle.


EXPERTS have upgraded their estimates on rising sea levels, predicting they could submerge Ronnie Corbett within a decade.

ImageThe previous worst-case scenario involved sea water lapping around the chin of Taxi star Danny DeVito.

Now climate scientists are warning we face the loss of not only DeVito, but Holland, Norfolk and the golf-loving Scottish comedian and his famous chair.


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